Under a Little Umbrella

最近我总是睡不着。不懂什么原因，也不懂如何解决。结果？我病了。喉咙痛，咳嗽和发烧。再加上有一些令我伤和累的事情，简直是太残忍了吧。。。

但是，老实说，我相信答案是很简单的。只是目前我还想不到。只能当它是个考验，希望所有都能顺利的过关。

Wondering if it was because of the spirit of competition due to the 2008 Beijing Olympics, but I had a somewhat interesting dream on the eve of the closing ceremony.  Basically, there was a martial arts tournament of sorts, with 2 teams of 5 people in 1-on-1 combat.  Victory to the team with 3 wins.  The venue was also peculiar, within a certain compound inside a supermarket. 

The funny thing?  I was one of the fighters, I don’t even know my teammates, I was the 3rd fighter, and my opponent was a girl.  Other than her wearing black and that her weapon of choice was a chain, I don’t recall how she looks like.  What I do remember was my dilemma in selecting my preferred weapon.  Didn’t struck me as strange how weapons like swords and spears were neatly stacked at one corner of the store without any supervision.  I did pick one after another to try them out.  Still, it was certain that I was expected to lose, as like real life, I DON’T KNOW ANY MARTIAL ARTS!!!  It was already weird being a contestant in the first place.  Well, guess that’s normal in dreams. 

My all time favourite weapon is the bo staff.  The Monkey King, Robin and Gambit are among the fictional characters that I’m aware of who used them.  It’s a well-balanced weapon, and most importantly, not deadly.  Therefore, I had totally no idea why I ended up with a spiked-ball mace.  Dangerous, and in the hands of a martial arts expert, lethal.  Me?  I’ll only hurt myself.  Again, that’s what dreams are all about, I think. 

So, I did not know the 1st 2 results, but it was already certain that I’ll have to compete.  Thus, I stepped onto the battleground where my opponent stood at the other end, and I still can’t remember her face.  What do I recall?  The spectators were silent, knowing that I will lose, but unsure how long it will take.  My teammates were nowhere to be seen.  She was relaxed, with her chain wrapped around the knuckles of one of her hands ( I forgot which one ).  Oh, and my heart was about to beat itself right out of my chest.  The spiked-ball mace was dangling down my right hand as I looked on.  Thoughts on my selected weapon were still running through my head.  Closing my eyes, heaving a deep sigh, I finally dropped the weapon… and I woke up. 

I wasn’t sweating from anxiety, but my heart was still beating.  However, I do wonder at my actions before I woke up.  If logic were to be accepted, I’d say that during those final moments, I decided to confront her bare-handed.  Hahaha.  Pretty daring for 1 who knows absolutely nothing about self-defense, eh?  Well, once more, maybe that’s also what dreams do. 

Would be nice if that could be applied to real life.  To plunge into the impossible while already knowing the inevitable outcome, it may only be in dreams and fiction that such actions seem brave and heroic.  In reality, difficult to find it so.  Yea, I did something along that line recently.  Clearly aware of the result, was I afraid?  No.  I was petrified.  Still, it was something I had to do.  Now that it’s dealt with, trust that I can now take the next step.