Under a Little Umbrella

Sometime back, I mentioned about hating someone, a girl in particular.  Well, guess what?  I don’t hate her anymore.  Now, I DESPISE her.  Hahahahaha.  Wait… to my understanding, ‘despise’ is of a higher degree compared to hate.  Anyway, in simple words, just want to state that the hatred has gone deeper.  :p 

Won’t reveal what happened, also won’t say when it happened.  Just, it’s in the past, which led me to this point in time.  Nothing much I can do about it, and trust that such venting through this blog won’t help much either.  Still, it is a favourable option compared to some of those which, could do a lot more damage. 

In a sense, rage is a dangerous thing.  Uncontrolled emotions may lead to dire consequences.  Hahahahaha.  Luckily, my situation isn’t that serious.  However, I’ll admit that there were times when I was angry enough that I felt like doing something bad about it, like hurting those particular people, physically or emotionally.  It may be simple actions like raising my voice or lashing out, but who can predict the outcome of such things?  The scars that result may remain for a very long time. 

Honestly, I’m burning right now.  Imagine the heat in a microwave, with the microwave trapped in a burning BBQ pit, which is slowly sinking into the molten lava of an active volcano, which is located at the center of a planet, which is being consumed by the sun.  Hard to imagine, right?  Hahahahaha.  Therefore, can’t really describe in detail my anger and hatred for this individual, but I do know that I haven’t felt this way in a long time.  Can’t clearly recall ever despising someone that much.  Still, I may not be able to control my emotions, but at least I can control my actions.  It may not be the best of ways, but thus far, not much damage has been done, except maybe to my sanity.  :p 

Some know about my ‘temptation’ mantra.  Well, I also have a ‘patient’ mantra.  The former was more practiced a few years back.  The latter however, has been occupying my time a lot recently.  I often mentioned of how there’s only so much one can do.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to do more.  Perhaps a little bit of subtlelty may help.  What’s obvious is that the key right now is ‘patience’. 

This entry was posted on Friday, May 23rd, 2008 at 5:53 am and is filed under Weblogs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.