In Memories…
2 months ago, I was surprised at how things were proceeding smoothly for me. Well, pebbles & streams aside, I’ve been going through mountains & valleys since then. Yes, I’m exaggerating, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going through a hell of a time, in my own sense, that is. Sure, I still have time for my hobbies every day, but those unseen strains & tensions inside can never be underestimated. Add to that some disappointments, false hopse, heartaches, losses & unignorable concerns, & my break not that long ago seemed to be taken at the right time. Enjoy first, suffer later, right?
So, what if it’s only March? When things happen, THEY JUST HAPPEN. Doesn’t matter whether I want them to. Meeting a number of old fwens after some time helps distract me some what, which is good, in a way. Realizing others’ problems makes me feel a little better about my life. Still, when reality sets in for me to return to my own issues, damn if they’d be any easier to handle compared to before.
Saw something that I wanted that day, but that’s the problem. It was something I WANT, not something I NEED. Not really a rare item, but more of a hard to find one in M’sia. That said, to be able to find it in Kch is even more surprising. Still, the ‘WANT’ and ‘NEED’ comes into play. Personally, I hate it, but since Gold Coast, my perspective has changed on certain things. I’m aware that it’s a good thing, but I repeat, I STILL HATE IT. Meaning, what I want is not important at the moment. Trust that I’ll come to regret it eventually. If that’s how it is, then so be it. As I mentioned before, there’s only so much one can do.
Thus far, the year has been tough. The funny thing is, a fwen whom I met recently said that I do not reflect so. Maybe it’s ‘cos I’m a good actor. Not THAT good, but good enough. The truth? It really is tough. Something happened, something sad, something everyone can relate to, sooner or later. It took less than 3 seconds, but the memory will remain beyond 3 years.
