Under a Little Umbrella

When bad things happen, it’s usual 2 think how unlucky we r.  D cause can b by our ownselves or others, but d fact remains that we r affected.  How big d effect depends very much on individuals.  Some choose 2 b quiet abt them, others may prefer 2 share their thoughts.  Still, in bad situations, ppl tend 2 4get that there r worse situations.  That’s normal, 4 ppl often think that things couldn’t get any worse.  Well, 2 me, they always can.  Realize how that is actually a good thing?  If u think abt it, it is optimistic, in a way. 

A very common example: falling in love.  Everything starts wif a confession.  D uncertainty is in d response.  Still, w/o trying, who knows what d answer will b?  Who knows if it might turn out good?  Not taking d chance & contemplating on what might hav been… could it b worse?  Taking d chance & then get rejected?  Not really, 4 there’s an answer.  Taking d chance, got accepted, & then lose ur loved 1 in d end.  Now, that’s worse. 

Simply put, there are always worse situations.  We just don’t think abt them, which is actually a good thing.  Y?  Cos things can always get better 2, right?  ^_^

What is d 1st thing that comes 2 mind when 1 thinks of ‘Superman’?  ‘Man of steel’.  ‘Faster than a speeding bullet’.  There may b some who r not that familiar wif these terms.  Not surprising.  ‘Superman’ isn’t real after all, just a fictional character created by some1 2… inspire ppl in some way, perhaps.  Anyway, those who r aware of him may come 2 realize that this could possibly b d greatest superhero ever created.  How so?  3 things - strength, speed & flight.  Although not a real necessity, these r somehow among d main things in most superheroes.  Example of those without these things r Batman, Daredevil, Green Arrow, Punisher, etc.  Bring Superman into d picture, & all these r nth.  Hey…  He has laser beams coming out of his eyes. 

Still, d creator really is smart.  What’s d point of having a perfect hero?  Everything will b meaningless s there’s nth that can beat him, which is y they created a weakness.  The concept is, every1 has a weakness.  It’s obvious where this is leading 2.  Sadly, most ppl hav it wrong.  U c…  Superman isn’t really that ’super’, & his real weakness isn’t kryptonite.  It’s far more simple.  It’s his heart. 

I trust, this is d same 4 every1.  How many times was it that u wanted 2 do sth, only 2 b held back by a gut feeling?  Some can b thru countless considerations.  Simply put, how our feelings come in 2 play.  It is a very big thing.  Strong faith & belief in own actions r what make things possible.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way, no? 

So, I’m no ‘Superman’.  Literally, of course not. What I’m trying 2 say is, my definition of ‘Superman’ is dif.  If I ever come 2 describe any1 s similar 2 ‘Superman’, or ‘Superwoman’, it’s ‘cos that person has faith of d heart. 

2 of my close fwens & I, 3 of us altogether, giv ourselves nicknames.  Who doesn’t?  Nth special, after all.  What r they?  ‘Heartless’, ‘Bloodless’, & ‘Cold-blooded’.  Ok…  ‘Heartless’ & ‘Cold-blooded’ r normal, but ‘Bloodless’???  Where did that come from?  It doesn’t even make sense.  In honest truth, even we 4gotten how we came up wif that.  I trust it’s obvious which 1 I m.  No??  ‘Heartless’, of course.  Y?  I just m.  So, how can I have ‘faith of d heart’ if there’s no ‘heart’ 2 begin wif?  :p

D satisfaction of having complete sth, that’s usually what d game’s abt, isn’t it?  Then again, aren’t most things similar?  Often, we do things wif 1 aim.  We want 2 finish it.  Fast or slow is 1 matter, how & when is another.  Still, d purpose remains d same.  D purpose behind that purpose, is any1’s guess.

Actually, those aren’t d ‘dots’ that I’m really referring 2.  It’s those that usually appear after, "Once upon a time…" & "2 b continued…".  C those 3 dots @ d end?  D implications r that there’s more 2 come.  Also meaning that d conclusion is still unknown.  So, how’s that applicable?

I tend 2 have these ‘3 dots’ in most things that I do.  Didn’t really notice them til a good fwen pointed it out 2 me.  He explained 2 me what he saw, & I came 2 understand his reasonings.  There r things that can’t b left alone 4 2 long.  Some issues hav 2 b solved w/o further delay.  Prolonging d situation will only make things worse.  In 1 particular scenario, d ‘dots’ could b dangerous s well, not just 2 me alone.  Worse, it could actually come back 2 me.  So, his point?  Change d ‘dots’ into a ‘full stop’. 

Honestly, I hate that.  A ‘full stop’ means a conclusion 2 sth.  Yes, I know there can b more after that, but it’s just me 2 hate ending sth.  1 of those conversions is d hardest decision I made.  Still, we hav 2 live on, right?  Can’t let such things keep me down 4 d rest of my life.  Good or bad, right or wrong, such things r really abstract in nature.  D simple way, do what I think is right.  Even if it means a sacrifice of sth, or d loss of another.  Isn’t that what every1 is doing?  Do bear in mind that ‘d right thing’ n ‘what i think is right’ don’t usually coincide. 

D outcome of 1 of those ‘full stops’ saddens me.  Don’t think that many r aware of it, s d signs don’t really show.  Such r things that require no mentioning, but I trust that ppl do feel it, & that they r respecting my privacy, or they r just plain dense.  Anyway, sth I read change my perspective on most things.  It’s nth special, but in that particular case, it strikes me somewhere.  It’s actually a sentence voiced by a character.  Yes, just 1 sentence. 

"So, you also cry when you are happy."

What I’m actually referring to is, those words that are not said.  Often, I come across situations where I can’t help feeling there are more 2 words said by certain ppl.  They only let out that much, which I’ll hav 2 accept, s every1 has their own rights 2 privacy.  In return, it’s not wrong 4 me 2 think 2 much, right?  I won’t say that I’m actually concerned.  It’s more 2… having a disturbing feeling.  2 these few individuals, I’m well aware that I’m not d person 2 turn 2 in times of need (2 those who don’t know, I happily admit that I can barely take care of myself.  :p).  Still, I do trust that there exists ppl 4 them.  In truth, these ’special fwens’ don’t even hav 2 b close 1s.  Searching 4 them won’t b necessary.  D way I c it, things r usually vewy simple.  They get complicated when 2 much thinking is involved.  I’ll admit that sometimes, thinking a lot is necessary.  Still, there’s always a basic, or base, 4 everything.  When things get messy, a lot often forget how things started so simple &… not that messy.  :p

No so recently, fwen A was contacted by fwen B.  Relationship wise, they r not close.  Their workplace r near 2 each other though.  I don’t know anything, but when I was told abt it, I told fwen A 2 pay some attention 2 this matter, cos it isn’t usual.  Who knows?  Fwen A might b that ’special fwen’ 2 fwen B.  Well, I felt so. 

Anyway, all this ‘Voice of Heart’ thing, is heart wrenching, don’t u think?  There r so many things 2 b said, yet they r held back.  I understand that there r reasons behind such actions.  Still, where will it lead?  Y d self-torturing?  Y d restless nights?  D solutions r known.  D answers remain 2 b confirmed.  Despite all this, it’s true that some things r better left unsaid, or unknown.  I’ve been in such situations.  Every1 know themselves best.  So, make a decision & act on it.  It is only through this that 1 will know whether it is d right 1 or not. 

B4 the_sole_knight, there’s actually the_young_king.  Catch no ball?  I’m slowly passing it.  These nicknames that I use 4 dif email accounts are actually taken fr a game.  D 1st 1 though, is actually the_thief, & in truth, that suits me more.  I’m a dreamer.  I like 2 think of d impossible.  No…  I like 2 think of going beyond d bounds.  LOL.  Tell me how many doesn’t, & I’ll respect them just 4 that fact alone.  Watching movies, TV series, anime, manga, all those media, gives me lots of ideas 2 explore.  I don’t make movies, & I don’t compose songs.  I only write, & that is where the_thief comes in.  I often mix ideas, conceptions & storylines of dif medias 2 my compositions.  Y?  Cos I think that things would b better that way.  Can’t really b d same s d original, right?  Still, no longer that active in writing, s my motivation is a bit low now.  Yes, sth made me really put pen 2 paper in d 1st place.  Anyway, I write 4 fun.  Mayb I’m currently having enough fun, or mayb I’m just plain lazy.  LOL

Quite possible d thing that affects me d most.  Most, if not all, of my decisions made vewy much depends on this.  Others may not care much of such things, s they r living their own lives, after all.  Still, how does 1 know if each of their actions & decisions doesn’t affects others?  2 me, it’s d other way around.  It’s d same til now.  All my choices, although made by me, were decided in consideration of others.  No, I’m no saint, but not til d rate that I don’t care abt my own affairs. 

I try my best 2 keep in touch wif my fwens back there, but s I mentioned earlier, it’s dif.  Those ties will definitely loosen, & it’s also a matter of myself willing 2 let them go.  Happenings of 1 yr alone is hard enough, what can I say abt 6?  What abt starting a new journey?  Don’t really think it’s new, actually.  I already am on a journey, merely walking on d path I c in front of me.  A few individuals play major roles.  These will b d hardest of all.  I’ll manage.  4 better or worse, I’ll still manage.  Not that I’m good at it.  Just sth I know I can do. 

A fwen of mine mentioned abt taking either 4ward or backward steps.  Funny.  Either way I c it, a step is still a step.  What may look like backwards 4 1 might actually b 4wards 2 another, no?  Still, can’t deny that there’s a point of what d implications r.  Wif all these varying opinions, it just shows how unique each inviduals r. 

& now, some venting.  Thanks 2 some further ties, I do feel like waking some ppl up.  That’s d summarized version.  D full version??  Every1 hav their rights 2 their own opinions & actions.  Yet, if they already know d outcome, y do they still persist?  Not just that.  2 think that they will return time & again 2 that same point asking "Why?", or "How?".  What iff d outcome is unknown?  Even worse.  There’s no use contemplating if d outcome is unknown.  S long s that 1 step vital step is not taken, nothing will change.  Y prolong d suffering?  If I’m seen s cruel, I’m just being honest.  Need some reality check?  I’ll b glad 2 wake u up from ur dream or nightmare.  Either a gentle nudge on d shoulder, or pouring a bucket of cold water, depends on d situation.  Darn…  That wasn’t s effective a venting s I would have hoped…

On to happier things.  Just finished ‘V for Vendetta’.  Comics, of course.  Tend 2 read 1st b4 movies.  Can’t really b certain y.  Interesting read.  Looking 4ward 2 d movie s well.  Expectations?  None.